Scarlet Tears
by NatureG45
Summary: It's always difficult to accept loss and despite how strong he is, Natsu is no exception to this pain


_So recently I've been feeling downish because of school and it seems like I can't really catch a break. So naturally I chose to write fanfiction to escape reality._

 _P.s. I'm not really sure if you'd call this angst or whatevvies but please enjoy._

 **Pairing:Nalu(because they're my favourite ship and the only one I have confidence in writing.**

She found him outside propped up against a tree, eyes closed and face turned towards the sun, trying to soak up its first rays. He did this often, often enough that most times Lucy joined her partner in this ritual of his.

She sat down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder. He made no movements to acknowledge her presence, his eyes remained shut.

Only silence existed between them during these moments, he usually spoke when the sun had climbed its way to the top of the sky. Not that she minded, she knew that words didn't matter sometimes, and that you only needed someone to be with you.

Natsu slid a hand to rest atop hers. His words were soft when he spoke.

"Igneel always made me do this. He said that as a fire user I should be the first to greet the sun when it rises and the last to see it off when it sets."

Lucy said nothing.

"its 'cause the sun's the original master of fire and everyone who uses fire should give respect. That's what he taught me. I always hated doing it though, getting up early every day and then waiting for the sun to go down so I could sleep, even when I was really tired. It was a pain."

"I tried to avoid doing it but Igneel laughed at me and said that if I was a true fire user I would come around to it." He chuckled, "I never thought he'd be right about it."

Natsu's other hand dropped the the grass-dragging his fingers around, causing it to rustle.

The silence had set in once again, with Lucy drifting back to sleep as the sun's rays brightened the skies when something wet dripped onto her forehead.

Followed by another,

And another,

And another.

She turned her head slightly to look at him, when another plopped onto her cheek.

The tears streamed down Natsu's face, his eyes glued to the now red sunrise.

"Natsu you-"

"I still remember it Lucy. I remember it so clearly like it just happened even though it was years ago."

His voice wavered but he kept going.

"He fell and I just _stood there_ , I couldn't do _anything_ to save him. I wanted to do something but my body wouldn't move, I was frozen and I watched him die."

Lucy reached up and brushed away his oncoming tears, "It's not your fault Natsu."

"I know, but I- _I just wish I could've done something._ Maybe if I was this strong back then I could've saved him but I wasn't and somehow I feel guilty about it now. Guilty about my own strength."

Low crackling and the scent of smoke alerted Lucy to the flickering forms of heat coming from Natsu's hand in the grass-still being dragged around.

"This feeling…" he asked," It won't ever go away will it?"

"…..no"

"Do you ever feel like this too?'

"Every time I look up at the sky and see Aquarius."

"It's difficult to explain," Lucy continued, "And I know my words won't do much to console you, but just keep living. Keep on living for the life that was lost and cherish the life you have. Hold onto your memories of the good and the bad times with Igneel. He might not be here to make new ones but he's there for you when remember him, and that means he isn't truly gone."

She pressed a hand to his forehead, "He's in here."

She gently laid the other atop his beating heart," and in here. We've all lost someone and in the end this is how we are, how we keep surviving. By holding on to what we have left and to continue pressing on."

His hand shifting in the grass stopped and his eyes dropped to her face.

A lone tear painted scarlet by the light trickled down his cheek, "I'll try. _I just miss him so much Lucy. I wish he was here right now._ "

"I know you do Natsu," she soothed, "I know you do."

Gone now were the red streaks across the sky, replaced by the now buttery yellow rays of the sun, taking its rightful place. Natsu had continued dragging his fingers through the grass.

"Do you want to go back inside now?"

He took a while to answer,"…sure."

Lucy rose to her feet and helped Natsu do the same. His eyes were puffy and still held tears-unshed and barely restrained. His lip quivered slightly.

"You want some breakfast?"

"I don't really know what I want though….."

"That's something we can figure out along the way. Come on."

She grasped his hand, intertwining her fingers with his and slowly led him back to the house.

Lucy knew this pain would never disappear, and this wound would never heal, but she would try her best to help every step of the way, no matter how difficult. Just like he did for her.

She turned her head back to where they were sitting, to the patch of smoking earth where his fingers had continuously traced over a pattern. A message carved into the now blackened dirt, one that would never fade.

" **I Love You Dad  
Please Come Back Home"**


End file.
